Dear Kurt,

Remember me thinking about that boy who likes you so much too? Yeah, him. I know you are the only one who understand this deep connection. 

I don’t know. I’m so mad. You know how I am. Always searching for some way to get hurt. It’s unavoidable. But you see, this is a different kind of thing. It’s a once in a lifetime thing for me. This could be everything or nothing at all. 

He is the only boy I've ever felt a deep connection with. He is the only boy I've been interested in only for the person he is. And I can tell you this because, as you know, we've never been face to face. This is the proof of how little appearance means to me. Even though I've seen some photos, and I can't deny, he's handsome in his own way, I've never seen him for real. I wish I could.

He is this kind of rare boys who have something in his head apart from hair. We hardly talk. There's no need for me to talk to him to know how good of a person he is.

I guess what attracts me the most about him is not only the kind of music he listens to, but the way he thinks, the tormented existence he has, how lost and messed he feels sometimes, just like me - I didn't need him to mention this for me to know. In fact, the most curious thing about us is that I never needed him to refer how sad he feels sometimes, or how random and tangled his thoughts can be, for me to know it. I just knew it. Somehow.

Also, he is the only boy who has ever shown the kind of interest I appreciate people to have in me. For who I am. For how I think. Like my awkwardness was kind of acceptable in his point of view. In one of our rare conversations he told me I was the only girl like this he knew. And he said I took part on the minority of decent people of this world. Reading this, meant the world to me. Because it was him who said it.

I can't deny how inaccurate my thoughts can get when I think about him. Like I get completely irrational. I wish I could meet him. I've fallen for his beautiful eyes but they haven't met me yet. And this urge for the meeting has been a constant thought now.

«Peace, love, empathy.»