Dear Kurt,

There truly is something in the way. In my way, and in everyone's path. Today I felt what it's like to fear the fact of being sad, to try hardly and desperately to avoid pain. But it's so difficult to figure out something better to think about when  bad thoughts are inside you for a long time. The first thing I thought about to avoid sadness was living on Earth. You know it always calms me down a little, to think that our problems are so small. Why do we have the audacity to think we matter?

Your voice calms me down too. It feels like heaven. And to hear your laugh, even if brief, in this video, meant a lot today.

I guess that sometimes, deep down, we know when things are meant to work out and when they are not. But this doesn't meant that things don't hurt us, just because we knew there was no hope in them. In fact, I think it's because we still try to make them work out, in the illusion that we could change its destiny, that we suffer so much. I have to discipline myself not to put so high trust and hope in everything. Not to expect too much, because things are rarely as we want them to be. I'm tired of this life. Such a dramatic I am. I wanted to be happy with what I have. I guess nothing could have ever  prepared me for these teenage years. My childhood was joyful. My parents always tried to keep me away from life problems. I have always been too innocent. Naive. And this is why I don't understand why I got to this. I'm wasting the best years of my life. And for what? I don't even know. Well, I'm going to listen to some motivational songs. Hope they keep these thoughts away. Kurt Donald Cobain, you're an angel. Be here with me forever. I need you til the very end. I need you to understand me. I don't even know the point of breathing anymore.

                                                                                              «Peace, love, empathy.»