Nirvana - Drain You

Dear Kurt, 

I just want you to know that I saw him again. 

Those eyes. I can't even think of an adjective to describe them properly. You have no idea just how beautiful they are. 

How on earth can someone ever deny someone like him? And how can someone like him think he's not worth it?And, how can someone like me even consider being worth for someone like him? See where my thoughts are going? I must be insane, Kurt.

I just didn't know how to act. I asked him the same think twice. And then I left. I don't even remember if I said goodbye. I can't stop thinking whether I seemed weird or something. My hair was a mess. But I smiled. I was happy. 

He's so high above me, so lovely. So different. And that's so good. But what could a girl like me have to offer? And again, thinking about the possibility. What possibility? I hardly know him. I've seen him three times. Three times. Those eyes. And that smile. I felt so happy to see his smile. Even if he was not feeling well, he smiled.

This has no rational explanation. But this feels so right. And so wrong. 

And now, again... I don't know how I feel. Why, Kurt, why can't I control these things? As if something would ever happen... I have to stop making scenarios. I know where I belong. I know there's no chance. But then, I keep imagining what that could be like. 

I don't think this will make sense, but I have to tell you because that's the only way to make it clear in my mind. I've never felt something so strong for someone I hardly know, like this. But if you'd ask me "do you think it's love?" I'd say "I think it's something bigger. If there's anything bigger than love, it's this. A deep connection. 

We talked today and it is asking for too much in a day, but... I wish he said something more tonight.

«Peace, love, empathy.»